Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr, and others are the dater’s tools of choice , and yet hating them is the one thing we can all agree on these days. They’re often more hazard than help, and the forced psychoanalysis of every picture and witty answer can shake even the most durable of confidences loose. Why am I not getting more matches? Why didn’t they respond? But is it your fault, or the app’s? Is it really possible to find true love with just your thumbs? I set out on a journey to find out, and it starts with defining love itself.
The heart of the matter is the heart itself. Like any muscle, it must be persistently worked on in order to grow. And love for most people seems to emulate that-a laborious growing process. A symbiotic relationship where two people don’t just grow together, but toward each other. But how do you decide on the person, the deciding factor of your success? I asked some of my friends that question and got varying answers: Someone that makes me laugh. Someone that’s empathetic. Someone that gets me snacks. But how do you filter for that? Will Tinder ever have a checkbox for “level of snack-readiness?”
So if we agree that common interests and values are the types of things we’re all looking for in relationships, how can we be expected to find them in an app that sorts for first-glance aesthetics and the ability to write one clever sentence about yourself? It’s Romance Roulette. Your filters aren’t set for love; they’re set for lust, and their equation for it is faulty at best. Continue reading “Is It Possible to Find Love Without Dating Apps?”